What are some funny and smart quotes?

My sister Tracy sent me these a little while ago. I thought I’d share them. Thanks Trace.

“Everyone in the Swiss Army owns a Swiss Army knife. That’s why no one messes with Switzerland.”

“It’s a little known fact that pigs are the smartest animal. Scientists say that if pigs had thumbs and a language that they could be trained to do manual labor. They give you 20 to 30 years of loyal service and then at their retirement dinner, you can eat them.”

Why does my crush always looks at me in a sad way whenever I talk with other boys, and if he catch me staring on him then he go and flirt with other girls and then check if I am looking at him?

Few people had funnier or smarter quotes than Cliff Clavin from the TV show, Cheers.

“The human brain can only operate as fast as its slowest brain cells. Too much alcohol kills brain cells, especially the slower, weaker ones. So, regular consumption of beer eliminates the slower brain cells after you’ve had a few beers which will speed up your brain.”

“Ah just like all women. If they’re not turning down your proposal of marriage, they”re accusing you of suspicious behavior in the lingerie changing room.”

Why am I tired all the time?

“It’s a little known fact that the tan became popular in the Bronze Age.”

They did a study between postal workers and chimpanze...

“There is no rule against postal workers dating women. It just works out that way.”

ChatGPT's AI coder Codex now lets you choose the best solution - BleepingComputer

“A Freudian slip is when you say one thing when you’re really thinking about a mother.”